Girls, you may have heard some of this from other girls before, but this is your opportunity to get a man’s perspective on cheating. First I want to say that his dishonorable conduct is NOT your fault. He did not cheat on you because YOU were not enough for him. He did not break up with you because you were unable to keep him pleased. Yes, that subject will come up when you confront him, because he knows that is how you will feel. You are a woman, designed to nurture, and it is natural for you to take on the blame for the “mistakes” of others.
If he can convince you that you somehow share the blame, then he does not have to face what he has done. He can justify it in his own mind, and if he can make you feel sorry enough about what has happened, he can give you one last tear jerking, bitter sweet bedroom encounter before he leaves you for the next girl. If you think you have anything at all to do with his cheating, then he can play you again and again and it will be difficult to get out of that situation.
Today’s postmodern culture is lead mostly by the liberal media (including Hollywood celebrity role models) and it does more to raise kids than parents who focus on their careers. One of the effects has been that young girls feel the need to compete with female movie stars in the areas of physical beauty and sexuality. Most of these celebrities began their careers in the upper echelon of facial beauty, have spent thousands of dollars on their figures, and wear clothing that shows every dollar invested. How can the average girl compete with a Hollywood standard?
Today’s girls also read magazines that focus on perfecting their superficial qualities and they receive little (if any) positive affirmation from their fathers. This reinforces a belief that their self-esteem is linked to competitive beauty and the ability to attract men. They feel spiritually empty if they do not have a boyfriend. These girls dress and act like the sex symbols they idolize and can link their quality of life with the quality of a relationship to a boy that is based on physical attraction. This leaves her wide open for disaster because although she craves an emotional bond with him, her skills of attraction have been developed and focused on sexual arousal and performance.
Because of how the female mind operates, intimacy is an integral part of the sex act. To her, opening her body to a boy is an act of trust and an intimate invitation to the emotional bonding she needs. However, with the way a boy’s mind works, sex can be (and often is) a superficial, recreational activity that can be compared to conquest and conquer. If she has not built the emotional bond with him prior to having sex, he can skip the bonding process all together and enjoy the sexual encounters with her exclusively as physical and visual experiences.
Today’s boys are also imprinted by the unrealistic standard of beauty set by Hollywood celebrities. The postmodern culture has taught that morality is relative - “What’s right for me is right for me, and what’s right for you is right for you.” “Truth is relative; there is no real truth.” It has also taught that sex is a legitimate form of recreation- “friends with benefits.”
The philosophy of evolution has programmed his mind to think, “We are all just animals,” “nothing really matters,” “the quality of my life is the sum of my experiences.”
These philosophies working together produce a mindset that life is the fulfillment of his desires from a “Me” perspective: When hungry – eat. When sleepy – sleep. When aroused – have sex.
Porn teaches guys that variety is good, that men know more about what a woman needs sexually than she does, and that even in a rape situation the woman enjoys it. Therefore, date rape drugs, getting her drunk or high, is fair play.
According to porn, if she lets him get to third base, she really wants it to be a home run; it is an invitation to be as persistent as it takes to get sex even if it means holding her arms and forcing his way in. To him it’s not rape; it has all been rationalized in relative truth that she is just pretending so he won’t think she is cheap. He can justify it by believing that she enjoyed the experience even if she cannot admit it to herself. To him, the proof of her real need for forced sex was in allowing him to get to third base and teasing his desires to the point of “loosing self control.”
According to relative truth, even if she convinces him at the last moment that his entry will be unwelcome, his reasoning can be that she is in the wrong for building up his desires without providing a release. To him she is in the wrong and he is justified to proceed.
To understand this, consider that a person’s actions are a result of a person’s thoughts. Thoughts are a result of core beliefs (worldview) as influenced by environment, peers, needs and emotions. The core belief structure, however, is the strongest governor of actions. People, who believe that they are animals, will indeed act like animals.
Today’s girls need a committed relationship from her boy, and today’s boys want a variety of beautiful sex partners. This means that if the girl will only have sex with her boyfriend, then becoming her boyfriend is what the boy will do in his conquest to get sex.
Through trial and error, he learns to be a very convincing actor. He only lets her see his nice guy side until he has won her as his prize and has satisfied his desires. Since his goal was to get sex, the relationship is built on a lie (that he feels does not really exist since truth is relative). If another girl will sleep with him while he is in the “commitment”, then he will. If he needs to tell more lies to cover it – no problem. After sex with his girlfriend has become routine, he breaks up. If she hangs on to him, he becomes a real jerk. This, like the nice guy, is a character that he plays to make her let go with less drama and share as much blame as possible.
As her spirit darkens and her hope fades, she looses her self-esteem and therefore lowers her standards somehow thinking she can’t get any better. After jerk one is gone, she finds that jerk two is an ever bigger jerk. Jerk three is even worse. By the time jerk four has come along and seduced her on a one night stand, she realizes that two years ago, she would not have been interested in dating a guy like that and would never have slept with him. She can eventually give up inside and get passed from player to player with no hope. When she gets tired of the pain, she may choose to become a lesbian to protect herself from another man’s sting. Her soul then becomes hollow as she tries to find her self-esteem in the arms of another broken woman.
Behind the Scenes
The codependent dysfunctional relationships between today’s boys and girls work exactly as they have been designed by the architects of the postmodern worldview. After sixty years of mass media and government ideological infiltration, the fruits of their labor are maturing. This worldview was constructed by liberal atheists for the purpose of disempowering and replacing the biblical worldview that founded the United States of America.
The Problem with America and Christianity
The U.S. has been the primary target of ideological attack from many different anti-Christian, anti-Semitic, and anti-capitalist cultures for over a hundred years because it has been the evangelical Christian influence of the world which protects Israel from Islamic aggressors and propagates capitalism and freedom.
The biblical worldview is so threatening to so many other types of ideologies, that there has been a mergence of many opposing special interest groups and ideological views around the same core - the hatred of conservative evangelical Christianity. An example of this is the alliance of the pornographic industry with the feminist movement. Editors of Porn magazines claim to be feminists yet publish material from the male dominant viewpoint. The pornographic industry exploits women, propagates rapists, and fuels the lust that spreads sex trafficking. Meanwhile, the feminist movement degrades men, denies gender roles, and its extremists view all heterosexual sex that involves some seduction or persuasion as a mild form of rape. Yet, both the feminists and the pornographers sell the same lie that porn, “frees women.” The feminist movement turns a blind eye to the many incidences of rape that occur during the production of pornographic movies and during adult photo shoots.
The strategy of the anti-Christian allies of the postmodern worldview is to weaken the civilization of the United States by destroying its foundation: the family. Pornography, feminism, and the radical homosexual movement march relentlessly against the strength and definition of marriage. After years of fighting, conservative evangelical Christians are now loosing the culture war in America and because of that, the morality of its citizens as a whole is in a state of decline. Thus the statement, “where have all the good men gone?”
Girls, you can see by the condition of your heart and the hearts of your girlfriends that this replacement worldview is not working. You may not have luck finding a good man today in America because they have been raised by today’s conventional “wisdom.” However, you girls will one day become mothers. You can choose to let things continue as they are or you can stand against today’s alliance of anti-Christian ideologies. You can raise your kids with a biblical worldview; It teaches that there is truth, there is right and wrong and that people were created by a loving God and are expected to act according to the morality that God made. Men should love, honor, cherish and protect women. A man should be faithful to the woman he is with. She is his friend and has equal value as a human. The bible teaches that sexual experiences are for husbands and wives to enjoy for intimacy and pleasure. It teaches that women are not the sex toys of men; it teaches honor, respect and integrity.
The bible provided the foundation of morality that ended slavery and influenced the cause for equal woman’s rights.Please do not take my word for it – I’m just a guy; start visiting any conservative evangelical Christian church that teaches the bible as the Word of God and as a literal history book and you will hear the same messages.
I wish I could say that all men who have been brought up by the Christian Church are faithful and truthful all the time; however, there are many complicated factors that can cause a person to live in contradiction to their own morals. A few of these include: addiction, depression, hunger, discouragement, anger, rebellion, and fear. However, a person’s life tends to follow their core beliefs. A person’s worldview is like the rudder on a ship that guides him or her through the storms and currents of life. The influence of circumstance may blow that life temporarily off course; the current of temptation or addiction may point it to an undesirable heading, but the rudder will eventually guide it back onto the course set by the worldview. It is logical and statistically proven that the biblical worldview produces happier, more faithful, more truthful, longer living, better providing men, who make better fathers than does the postmodern worldview.
The postmodern world view teaches that parents should let children discover their own values. This is taught, because the values desired by the postmodern worldview are being indoctrinated to today’s children in the schools and through the liberal media.
What world will your daughter grow up in, and what kind of man will your son become? You, as a mother, will have the ability to teach the values of your choice to your kids. That is unless the designers of the postmodern worldview achieve their eventual goals to institutionalize childcare under the guise to free up parents for the pursuit of their own careers without the kid factor interfering. At that point, states’ rights will trump parental rights and the children will be spoon fed whatever ideology the institutions decide is best for ridding the world of marriage, the family, Christianity, Israel, capitalism and freedom.
It is now the time for all mothers and future mothers to fight for their right to shape the next generation by being proactive with instilling their own pro-family values into their kids, or the hand that rocks the cradle will soon be the state that rules the world.
By Cody G. Carson
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